A couple weeks back, I wrote about Bob, Jason, and I pre-ordering the Athlon college football preview magazines, complete with custom covers from our respective teams' conferences. Our copies of the Athlon mags aren't supposed to be here for another week, so imagine my surprise this weekend when, while roaming around my local Barnes & Noble, I came across a Sporting News preview magazine sitting there on the rack. An SEC preview mag, no less. Only New York Knicks' GM Isiah Thomas has made quicker and less thought-out financial transactions than the one that put this rag in my pocket.

　　And, now I'm sitting here, wondering if I should even open it up.  It's still only May for Pete's sake. There's still three months to go before the games kick off, and we've got a long, dull summer of baseball ahead of us before we can get to the only real sport that matters: college football.

　　Right now, I could really benefit with a bit of self-control. Exercise some judgment and all that because, at some point, things are going to get desperate. There's going to come a point, approximately around the third week in July (or, in MLB timeline terms, just after Barry Bonds hits No. 717) that I will be at my wit's end with the summertime sports draught, and I will be extremely happy--no, I'll be overjoyed--that I saved this copy of Sporting News' SEC preview in pristine, unopened condition. All those stats, all those new names and faces, positional breakdowns, and projected finishes will be like a jug full of cool mountain spring water to a parched man.

　　If I've got any guts at all, I'll save the Athlon preview as well, and consume them both in July or early August; you know, when the rest of the world starts really caring about college ball again. By then, NCAA 07 will be out, which will be a great release for all that pent up collegiate frustration.

　　Oh screw it. I'll just take a quick look; one little peek won't hurt. I'll just open up the cover and look at the table of contents. Wait, what's this? Projected finishes for the both divisions? Auburn #1 in the West, Florida #1 in the East. Okay, not bad. One more page. I'll try one more page. Oh no, it's a slightly pervy photograph of Tennessee Volunteer cheerleaders. I'm done for.