Rumors abound about Duke Nukem's move to the big screen, but nothing is known yet - not who's going to play him (although Arnold and Dolph Lundgren seem like obvious choices), not who's directing, not even what the story will be. But we have a few ideas for the story.

　　Last week in Twitch we asked for plotlines and received tons of suggestions. Read on for some of the best.

　　-Moira Muldoon

　　The most "to the point" plotline:Like any good film, the Duke Nukem movie has got to include the one thing that keeps all eyes glued to the screen: Kung Fu Strippers, and lots of 'em.-Cfunk

　　The second "most to the point" plotline:It's simple really. Aliens steal chicks...Duke gets 'em back. -Raps

　　But of course...I probably think it'd be about the apocalypse and, of course, girls.

　　Read more responses on the following pages:The plotline most like Shane/Unforgiven/Hot Shots Part Deux:Duke has hung up his guns, and while living in seclusion with his significant other and maybe a little Duke, their existence is threatened by a 1. Chemical Company or 2. Pharmaceutical Company spewing toxins. Duke goes on the warpath to destroy the mutants created by the toxins and the corporate heads involved. No sit-ins or tree-hugging for Duke. Just blow them up!! -EFrank8836

　　Duke goes PC:instead of nazis lets get sadam! harem girls in their costumes instead of pasties could get blown away. add some more arsenal. bomb things from real far away! how about deadbeat dads, or people who abuse animals. duke could be the defender of the innocent. -Janet Duke fights PC:I think the plot of Duke's movie should be him hunting down and destroying all the censors. I'm a Nintendo fan, but maybe he should also take a little trip up to Seattle....-Joshua Kercheif

　　Um...I think the movie will not be anything like the game but like true lies or something it will probably be like James Bond movies somewhat similar actually I really don't know all I pretty much want to say is that Duke Nukem is a great game.-crate30Duke vs. Lara:Why not combine the proposed Tomb Raider movie with the proposed Duke one? The Chinese warlords are in league with the dragon-like aliens, who originally crafted the Dagger of Xian. Naturally, in pursuing their various ends, Duke and Lara run into each other, and in true Hollywood fashion, sparks fly. They hate each other (she's too snooty, he's too crass), but as they join forces to blow away the warlord/alien alliance, they fall into a wisecracking and acidic yet affectionate relationship. They pack serious weapons and the film is loaded with violent explosions and bloody carcasses. And, of course, after the Dagger is recovered and aliens destroyed, Lara takes Duke back to her mansion in England and gives him his very own strip show.-meganmurphy

　　The most detailed plot (and remember that we've edited this already):The story would be based on an old '50's notion that UFOs originate from the center of the Earth. You see, before humankind became terrestrial, beings from some Otherworld came to Earth looking for resources. The Earth was not inhabitable for them at the time because the air was too fresh and the water too clear, so they needed to have it all mucked up a bit before they could take over. The story goes that they brought a catalyst which caused the human evolution process to move faster, knowing that bipeds will quickly dirty up the planet and then they can simply eradicate the vermin humans and take over the joint. I think "dat guy who played dat Ford Fairlane creep needs to get a part in da Nukem flick as a sidekick kinda guy...dat guy won' even needa act cuz he's awready dat kinda guy..." The thing is, the Duke discovers this plot and finds out that the invasion day is coming soon, so he gets a band of badasses together to go to the hole in the earth and kick some butt before the Otherworlders begin their assault on the surface-dwellers (that's us!). I can see lots of action in deep tunnels and excavation and earth-burrowing mole machines trying to get a surprise attack on the Otherworlders subterranean base. Initial levels of the story and the N64 action (gotta be a multiplayer co-op game or a versus game - player's choice! Don't forget that Rumble Pack!) will be Duke and his cohorts going into the sewer system thru some deep tunnel project to find a way down to the bad guys levels. Watch out for those buried utilities like the natural gas pipelines, the electric cables and stuff like that! Duke and his boys could get zapped or blown up before they get more than 100 feet below the city! Water Main breaks in the tunnels, sewage and illegally buried toxic waste container leakages, along with buried radioactive waste and irresponsibly disposed of military ordnance - by the time the Duke is done, if he ain't careful, the whole Earth could end up getting too polluted for Otherworlders or humans! It's like Deja Vu all over again! (thanks, Yogi!)

　　One more thing - the Duke gets his marching orders directly from the President himself - who is that Robert Redford look-alike from Indiana who was once the Veep under Bush. Hmmm. "Veep under Bush" - There's something there, ain't it! Oh. Almost forgot. Duke refers to the bad guys as the "plumbers." Maybe it's because their foreheads remind him of a bad case of "plumber's butt" - you know the type, where the crack's showing... Oh, and the other thing - the supreme bad guy - (gotta have a supreme bad guy for the final showdown....) is called Puke Blewkem. It's enough to make you sick... (Hey, the kids will love it! Remember Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? This time with the Duke, it'd be more realistic and believable....)-Russ RobertsonSarcasm will get you nowhere...I know. Duke becomes a family man, and by some freak lab accident gets pregnant and is gonna have a baby...... oh..... wait.....Oh, well.-me

　　The sibling plots: be on some sort of planet where he is captured by alien life forms, and has to escape and return to earth before it is too late (taken over by aliens), only to find out that it has been taken over, and almost the whole human race is wiped out. He finds his lost brother and sister who are commando specialists on earth, and so the three together try to defeat these aliens, and preserve whatever is left of the human race. Last, the only person alive in the end is Duke among the three, and he is the last hope of the people to preserve the human race.-ametro

　　Movie starts... Duke's just walking down the street readin' his guns and ammo' magazine when the super annoying pre-pubescent newz boy shouts out: Extra extra! Aliens take Babe University hostage! Infuriated with those damn aliens, Duke grabs his trusty pistol and sets out for Babe U! He breaks through the shabbily barricaded door (interesting for an intellectually superior species) and quickly finds a few aliens to blast. He spends about 20 minutes blastin' more aliens with his 9-millimeter when he fortunately finds a shotgun with lots of ammo scattered around it in the middle of the corridor. This process repeats until Duke has a pistol, shotgun, twin uzis, a huge machine gun, and, of course, a rocket launcher. Duke then proceeds to rescue a few hostages in the lab room. Relieved, the girls proceed to give him a strip show to show their thanx! After this, Duke blows up a bunch of barrels until he finds his evil twin!!! Oh no it's Bill Pullman! It looks grim for good ol' Duke, until his foolish twin tries to repent his ways and talk out their differences. Just as Evil Duke starts to break into a chorus of Kumbaya, Duke hauls out a shotgun and blasts his twin's head off!!! After this, Duke goes into the alien spaceship, blasts open the royal aliens, and then blows up their ship (every big budget movie has to have a huge explosion scene right?) Hooray. The world is saved. In the ending scenes Carmen Electra and Jenny McCarthy show Duke how grateful they are for saving the world.... -jaredmed

　　Almost a sibling plot:I think the plot should be that the aliens make an exact replica of Duke. The aliens lure all the chics on earth with the fake Duke. Duke's job is to save all the chics by blowing up all the aliens and fake Duke. -Sharif Sourour

　　No Duke at all:A Duke movie? come on! that would NOT be a good choice for a movie. Tomb Raider, yes. Duke Nukem, no. I don't think you can make a you-against-the-world-type game with one hero into a movie. I mean, come on! that'd be pathetic and not really interesting to watch. The stories of the Duke Nukem games are so childish, and they get right to the point - kill all aliens. So, you can't really use that for a movie (if you're basing the movie on the games). Every movie has a male (Duke) and female lead (I guess in this case it'd be some stripper), and actually some dialogue. Now... who is Duke going to talk to? I believe that this whole rumor is a fake. There's no way to make a movie out of the game unless you redo the entire thing completely, and if they're gonna do that, they might as well not base it on the Duke Nukem "universe" at all. -Ilya GordonGlad we could keep you entertained:I'll admit, I laughed my head off when I heard this. A movie based on Duke Nukem could either go two ways. It could be a sleeper hit like Army of Darkness in the future. Or it could be one of those movies that we ask ourselves, WHY? I suppose they could use a plot as stupid as saving all the babes from space creatures, but how will they do that in two hours? It may be a good opportunity to go in the personal background of the man with so many famous phrases. It could use some of the backgrounds from the game in the movie for a little depth. My reservation is that they DO NOT censor the mighty Duke on the big screen. If it's PG-13, it better add up to an R rating. -CSA

　　Duke, Fighting for First Amendment freedoms:I think it should be in the future after WW3. Where the USA is in ruins, except for a few cities. A small group of aliens invaded during WW3. So a group of these aliens decide to take a city for themselves. Turns out they chose the wrong town, Duke's town. So he fights them to protect his town and favorite adult book, movie, and theatre. -Lynn O. Heinrich

　　Duke Nukem, animal lover:Duke should be a little more sensitive (HEHEHEHE) to the monsters that he kills. The L.A. pigs r cool, i think that he should keep them as pets 4 sale heheheheheheh. -KiLmArI RiOhThat Army of Darkness thing:Have you ever seen Army of Darkness? Where do you think Duke got all his ignorant lines from? Oh well.

　　A cool idea for the movie would be Duke trying to save the world from the hideous henchmen from the planet Gack. Duke would be smooth like Barry White, ignorant like Dolph, and handsome (?) like Bruce Campbell, all wrapped into one. Oh yeah, he would need a sidekick, like BoBo, the talking titmouse. BoBo would have a shoulder harness that fires rockets and lasers, but in the first scene of the movie, it would squish him, and alas, no more BoBo.

　　Throw in lots of machismo, childish/adult humor, and some rubber suited aliens with exposed zippers, and you have your movie. Move over Arnold, a new buff actor (?) is ready to take the lead, again. -Tim Murphy

　　And again:Here we go. After defeating the Evil Alien Overlord (tm), Duke Nukem finds that he had one last trick under his sleeve: Upon his death, a time portal opens up and our hero is sucked into the past. (Around the year 1300.).

　　Well, okay--this movie's actually called, "Army of Darkness" but hey, Duke's already ripped off some quotes and attitude from the movie. If you look at the box art, and then the cover of the video, there's a striking resemblance between the two.... Hmmmmm….-FilemonBut what would the Cowboy fans do?Arnold Schwarzanager would make a great Duke, but I doubt he'd take it. Then the Dallas cheerleaders could fill in some "ahem" other parts.-Lee Howell

　　Huh is right:duke walks into a bar and finds a hot woman and gets an idea of asking her out...if you're a girl this could be a great opportunity for duke if you were that hot woman ;)....anyway duke goes out with her and really likes her and then guess what he finds out she is a bi sexual demon from hell...but duke still loves her hmm stupid isnt he?...back to the story, duke is getting it on with miss bi demon and the demon says "wanna meat my parents?" and duke says "sure" (wow he IS stupid) so she creates a portal to hell then the bi demon starts trying to eat duke's **** and duke doesnt like that a bit and blasts the hell outta miss bi demon and she dies then the story continues on like that destroying sexy demons one after another until he finds his way out... great idea huh?

　　Duke for diversity:Thanks for this opportunity and I dare say, I did enjoy DN3D so here are some suggestions of what not to put in the movie:

　　1)He *doesn't* save a maiden in distress; it's such a tired concept.2)Nor does he save the world.

　　Maybe something original like:

　　1) The *Nigerian*(enough with Chinese, Italian, Yakuza, Russian, etc mafia already) drug cartel is working on a drug more potent than cocaine. Unfortunately it sometimes has some pretty horrid side effects, hence some of the monsters.

　　2) Lets have an African Mad scientist for a change who's discovered space technology and wants to use to redress the injustices (slavery, economic etc) of the past, however this is just a front for his greedier ambitions. He uses his brilliant skills to create genetically mutated person-beasts ala Dr Morreau flava!!-Bheku Msimanga (Terry)A good old-fashioned hero:The plot of the movie should be like Duke takes a vacation - from crime fighting - on a space shuttle. Then he runs into nasty aliens. While the aliens hold him captive, an army of there hi-tech roboAliens are making there way to earth and Duke's the only person in the galaxy that knows how to defeat the aliens (With an alien version of the plasma cannon!). P.S. Duke's my hero too. -Khanh Nguyen